banno, dhanno and teja in bumm-bumm-bhole-land

alternative modes of transport

I was watching Abhishek Bachchan and Rani Mukherjee on a snow peaked mountain in ‘Bas Itna Sa Khwaab Hain‘, don’t ask me why, I wouldn’t know. No, wait, it was to do with the Friday release of ‘Drona‘ and I wanted to see the director’s earlier film, from an academic point of view. No, really, that’s me.

Anyway, suddenly, I got an a-ha moment. Teja and Dhanno will tell you I often get a-ha moments, where I basically realize after a considerable amount of time what most people know from their mothers’ wombs. A lot of my a-ha moments are to do with the working of taps, bottle caps, door latches, turnstiles, elevators, tetra-packs and other such mind-boggling things. But that’s another story.

Right now my a-ha moment came while Teja said: “Where are they dancing?”

I said: “The Swiss Alps.” Though I didn’t know for sure, it’s good practice to give answers confidently.

Since they had just reached the Swiss Alps via a Film City set just by virtue of singing a song, I said: “I’m sure if we sing a song right now, we could be in the Alps.”

Teja said: “Yes.”

I said: “We’d have to move our arms around in synch.”

Teja said: “We could do that.”

Dhanno said: “But both of you will reach there. I’ll be left behind. I want to come too.”

I said: “We’ll sing a family song.”

Much singing (completely off-key on my part, perfectly pitched on Teja’s and Dhanno’s part) ensued accompanied with much flailing around of arms and legs. But we stayed firmly ensconced in Bumm-Bumm-Bhole-Land.

I said: “We need costumes and make-up.”

Dhanno said: “We need a camera and lights.”

Teja muttered to himself: “Love means doing stupid things together. Love means never having to say sorry (to yourself) when you do stupid things together. Love means …”

Meanwhile Abhishek Bachchan and Rani Mukherjee had come back to the Alps after a brief sojourn to some grassy flowery meadow in Ootacamund.  They looked at each other, they looked at the camera, they did some posing of the romantic, dreamy kind, you know the arms outstretched, twisted necks variety.

I thought the way they are shot, and their dance steps are, they could well be performing in front of a blue screen in Mumbai. Most songs are choreographed this way nowadays. The backdrop could be Milan, Mauritius, Muscat, or a painted screen in Mehboob Studios, Bandra. How does it matter? The actors don’t relate at all to the place they are in, the dance movements have nothing to do with the space around them.

I missed suddenly with a deep pang, the cavorting, rollicking, rolling in snow, sliding down snow peaks, throwing snowballs  – Shammi Kapoor and Saira Banu in ‘Junglee‘, Raakhee and Amitabh in ‘Kabhi Kabhi‘, Shashi Kapoor and Sharmila Tagore in ‘Aa Gale Lag Jaa‘. I missed the sweaters and the pom pom caps and the woolen mittens and the faux fur collared jackets. Rani was wearing a chiffon saree, Abhishek was wearing something that I forgot even as I looked at it. Certainly not made for goofing around in the cold. Sigh.

Anyway, since the song and dance routine didn’t work for us, we’ll just drive down to Pune for the weekend.

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11 comments on “alternative modes of transport

  1. SUR NOTES
    October 3, 2008

    next time you want to repeat the family song call me- i will be the choreographer who yells into the microphone- come on, 1,2,3,4,….and poof- the three of you will be in the alps. ( i might be there with you too, but i will try and make myself scarce, i promise)

  2. Space Bar
    October 3, 2008

    lovely post! but please tell me y’all did your family dance during the film – please please please!

    (and lovely header photo.)

  3. Toonfactory
    October 3, 2008

    haha…filmy very filmy….Alps se Kashmir tak…

  4. Grasshopper
    October 3, 2008

    Yup. amitabh and rakhi look so snow kissed in that super sensuous song in kabhi kabhi.
    and the fire, its smoke, i never saw all this before.
    thanks, banno, for the fa class. keep it up, or i might forget how to see movies.
    but please don’t say anything bad about abhishek, yaar. its not his fault.
    wait to see him in my film. :)

  5. memsaab
    October 4, 2008

    I want to roll in the snow in Kashmir with Shammi. I want to! I do!

    LOL at your a-ha moments with latches etc. Me too.

  6. dipali
    October 4, 2008

    Banno, what song did you guys sing?
    It wasn’t the magic one that worked(:
    Utterly delightful post!

  7. anja
    October 4, 2008

    What a lovely post.

    Better love in bumm-bumm bhole land than the Alps;)

    Thanks for reminding me of Junglee Shammi, takes me right back to Sunday movies on DD while eating pakoras and sipping chai with the family..=(

  8. suniti
    October 5, 2008

    Wonderful write up Banno. Even I wanted a family song , in case we all got separated in a fair.
    And I miss those duets. Those days love was something which had only two of them, not a cast of 50 extras gyrating along with them. 90s have ruined the tender romance. Now love songs look more like mass PT.
    ( and while we are at it- I miss Shammi kpoor, shashi kapoor, Dev anand and all those heros who sang looking at the moon.)

  9. Shweta Mehrotra Gahlawat
    October 6, 2008

    That sounds like so much fun! whats song did u guys sing? and how is that movie anyway? im ashamed to say i have never heard of it- better imdb …:)

  10. Banno
    October 6, 2008

    Oh yes Sur, how could we forget the choreographer? But no extras, please. Right, Suniti. We don’t want PT classes.

    Space Bar, of course, while the film was on.

    Toonfactory, geography doesn’t matter at all. You know :)

    Memsaab, me too. i.e. roll with Shammi in the snow. If you’ll let me.

    Grasshopper, I like Abhishek too. Just have a major grouse against him because he seems to sleepwalk through most of his films. And you just feel he can do so much more.

    Dipali, the magic should work with any song. No?

    Yeah, Suniti, miss too. What incredible intense romances.

    Anja, yes, weren’t those Chitrahaar days fun? How we used to wait for them.

    Shweta, I hadn’t heard of it either before Drona came up.

  11. Beth
    October 7, 2008

    There is nothing a little snowy field, classic knitwear, and Shashi won’t cure, I’m sure. And now I’ll be taking my dosage…. Oh wait, no, now I’ll be trying to write about Kalyug. Rather different. Crap.

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This entry was posted on October 3, 2008 by in Banno, bumm-bumm-bhole land, Dhanno, me just me, Teja, the movies.
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