banno, dhanno and teja in bumm-bumm-bhole-land

azaad (1978) – just because there are only so many rasgullas you can eat at one time

The other day, I watched Dharmendra in a chamber with a slanting floor opening into a pit with acid bubbling inside. As he tried to avoid falling in, he looked up. A fancy glass chandelier over the pit had a Gandhi cap stuck on it – it belonged to someone he had known. The cap fell into the pit, and the bubbles swallowed it up immediately.

Meanwhile, gas began to spew out of vents near the floor. Then, a big dog rushed in and attacked Dharmendra in a bid to loosen his grip on the floor and make him fall into the pit. The dog then turned into a stuffed toy with which Dharmendra wrestled making huge, grunting sounds. Then Dharmendra threw the dog into the pit, and the acid bubbles sizzled again satisfyingly.

Dharmendra used the door left open by the dog to move out of the chamber and into a corridor where immediately big saws started rotating towards him threateningly from both sides. Then, some huge drills started coming at him from the floor. He avoided all those and escaped through the blades of a huge exhaust fan onto a shabby terrace full of sad looking potted plants and discarded furniture. Shetty, the dark bald evil man was waiting for him there, and he made menacing sounds. They had a fist-fight.

Meanwhile, Ajit and Prem Chopra went down a corridor. A door opened automatically and closed when they had passed by. They opened a large oven. The skeleton of a dog was delivered to them covered in ashes. They wondered what had happened. They peeped through a window of the chamber and saw Dharmendra had escaped.

Dharmendra defeated Shetty eventually and looked down from the terrace. A saddled horse was waiting patiently near a tree. He whistled and the horse came obediently nearer. Dharmendra jumped from the terrace, landed on the horse two stories below, and galloped off.

Ajit and Prem Chopra came running out. Their house was in a forest. They asked their goons to chase Dharmendra. Everyone set off on their horses.

I switched off the TV. Too much pleasure can be a bad thing.

I wish I knew which film this was in. Teja who was in the same room as the TV, says he does remember seeing Dharmendra but none of the above since the TV was on only for a few minutes. Dhanno refuses to believe that I actually saw all this. She thinks I made it up. It seems just the kind of thing I would make up.

A few days ago, I also saw Dharmendra and Hema Malini on a ferry. They were having an argument, in the course of which he lifted her up, put her over his shoulders, smacked her on the bottom and then threw her into the water. Dhanno doesn’t believe I saw this either.

I need some Youtube proof. And I need to stop surfing TV channels. And I need to watch entire films in one go, or at least until I figure out their names.

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27 comments on “azaad (1978) – just because there are only so many rasgullas you can eat at one time

  1. shankari
    February 3, 2009

    The original waxed pecs??!

  2. Grasshopper
    February 3, 2009

    Hey, why not order a free Grasshopper, in return for a small review?

    I promise you, it will be more entertaining than watching TV.

  3. Banno
    February 3, 2009

    Listen, Grasshopper, I am willing to pay for a grasshopper. I’ve been to Crossword 3 times, and nagged the guys at Strand twice. So do let me know how I can buy one. And I’ll send the moneys. :-)

    Shankari, isn’t he cool?

  4. Beth
    February 3, 2009

    It is NECESSARY to find out what movie that is! I’ll ask the appropriate sources.

  5. Beth
    February 3, 2009

    What about Phandebaaz? http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=8DB820B19E7934B4 Even if this isn’t it, this looks SUPERB – check out clip 14 with the giant rolling cage!

  6. memsaab
    February 3, 2009

    I have seen a LOT of Dharmendra films but not that one. Maybe it was Azaad from 1978? All four of them are in that according to imdb.

    In any case, I believe you. :-) I might even have seen the Hema one too, it vaguely rings a bell.

  7. Beth
    February 3, 2009

    I’m sorry, I’m totally obsessed. What about Barood? http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0157358/ Memsaab, I wondered about Azaad too, but it didn’t sound QUITE wackadoo enough to me. :)

  8. illusionaire
    February 3, 2009

    I’m surprised you don’t know! :)

    As for me, I have no idea, but I sure did enjoy the brief script description. Reminds me of those Chitrahaar days on wednesday night, doordarshan.

  9. dustedoff
    February 4, 2009

    This reminds me of God knows how many Dharmendra movies I’ve seen…Aankhen? Yakeen? Shalimar? No, I know for a fact that this isn’t one of them, but could well be. Wasn’t there one in which he (or was it Shammi Kapoor – I’m losing it now) was in this huge elliptical cage, being slowly broiled over a fire… I wonder who thought up all those tortures.

  10. Banno
    February 4, 2009

    Beth, thank you for those links. Need to go and check them out right now. And maybe post one, even if it’s not the right one.

    Memsaab, thank you, your faith in me is reassuring, specially in face of 15 year old contempt.

    Illusionaire, contrary to popular belief, I am not The Wise Woman.

    Dustedoff, Beth has found a link with a cage, and a fire. Go check it out. I do miss all those torture scenes.

  11. Banno
    February 4, 2009

    Memsaab, Yes, I think it’s ‘Azaad’. First, because it has Ajit too. And second, it also has a horse. Plus the landscape seems familiar. Forest and all. And then, Hema Malini is a princess, and Prem Chopra her fiance, so possibly their palace is full of torture chambers. Yipee.

  12. bollyviewer
    February 4, 2009

    OMG, Dharmendra waxed his umm… *whispering* underarms! I thought macho men never did that.

    OK OK, coming back to the topic, the name that springs to mind is Dharam Veer since your scene sounds crazy enough to be from there. But since neither memsaab nor Beth (who’ve actually seen it) mention it, I am guessing its not DV. I hope its Phandebaaz because I have it and would love to come across something like that! :-)

    And the second scenario, are you sure Dhanno isnt right and you really dreamed it?

  13. Banno
    February 4, 2009

    Bollyviewer, no, I still think ‘Azaad’ is the best bet. ‘Phandebaaz’ has no horses and no Ajit.

    The second scenario, no, I don’t think so. I may have added some ‘masala’ of my own though. :-)

  14. writerzblock
    February 4, 2009

    Ooooohhh….the pic was cool…or was it hot ?? Either way, enjoyed reading ;-)

  15. Beth
    February 4, 2009

    When I read your post yesterday, I immediately roped in Todd of Die Danger Die Die Kill and fan of all things loony. He agrees that Azaad sounds like the best bet (though he hasnt’ seen it), and he too unearthed some other wonderful-sounding movies in the process (Jugnu and some other thing that has Dharmendra and Mithun and a house full of traps).

  16. memsaab
    February 4, 2009

    It turns out that I OWN Azaad!!!! And haven’t watched it (I think it lacks subtitles)…but it IS in fact Azaad, I have just watched all the scenes that you describe in your post.

    So you can tell your 15 year old that you did in fact see what you saw, because memsaab has seen it now too.

    I’m going to have to watch it whether it has subtitles or not, now!

  17. dipali
    February 4, 2009

    Wot a post, Banno! Those horror scenes were so damn grisly- I’d be quite petrified as a youngster watching them on family friend’s TV on a Sunday evening with my dad. You make them sound like so much fun:)

  18. karrvakarela
    February 5, 2009

    hi batul,

    is lilkee available for purchase in the US? i’d love to watch it.

  19. shakester
    February 5, 2009

    arre fantastic. Am thinking of raiding Moser Baer DVDs thisnext trip to India.:)
    Especially after listening to Bombay The Hard Way, which has tons of kalyanji Anandji background music with dialogues and the ocassional bets thrown in. Fantastic.

  20. wordjunkie
    February 5, 2009

    ‘Dharamveer’ would be the one where he Paaji wears a skirt, right? (wonder how much waxing that took?)

    I’ve a hazy recollection of that scene, from DD1 days, think it’s Azaad too.

  21. Scribblers Inc
    February 5, 2009

    the rich inheritence of Bollywood continues….Bravo…

    Scribblers Inc.

  22. Beth
    February 6, 2009

    I am now the proud owner of Azaad too. I couldn’t resist!

    And shakester, that album is terrific!

  23. Pu
    February 6, 2009

    I believe u… I remember watching these scenes somewhere… the dog the acid pit..and Darmendra..I suppose. of course I don’t remember the film… and the Hema Malini one… I would love to see…!!!!! By the way watched “Rock On” last night!! God give me a break!!!!… I have a feeling… there’s something seriously wrong with me!!!! HELP ME…….

  24. Banno
    February 6, 2009

    Writerzblock, ain’t he, hot and cool?

    Beth, ‘Jugnu’ is one of my all-time favourites. I need to go buy or rent ‘Azaad’ now.

    Memsaab, Thank you for that validation.

    Dipali, I am quite horrified by myself that I never got horrified by all these scenes as a kid. What does that say about me?

    Karrvakarela, Unfortunately, ‘Lilkee’ is not mine to sell. I do have DVDs that haven’t been subtitled yet. (Yes, sorry Memsaab. A big sorry) So I could send it to you. Postage to the US is expensive though, because I need to courier it, the postal service doesn’t accept DVDs. So if you have someone in India whom I could send it to, who could then forward it to you??? Or someone who is visiting?

    Shakester, Good, good. Haven’t heard ‘Bombay the Hard Way’ though. Wonder if it is available here.

    Wordjunkie, and yes, what a skirt! Micro-mini.

    Scribblers Inc., :-)

    Pu, No, no, nothing wrong with you.

  25. Banno
    February 6, 2009

    Writerzblock, ain’t he, hot and cool?

    Beth, ‘Jugnu’ is one of my all-time favourites. I need to go buy or rent ‘Azaad’ now.

    Memsaab, Thank you for that validation.

    Dipali, I am quite horrified by myself that I never got horrified by all these scenes as a kid. What does that say about me?

    Karrvakarela, Unfortunately, ‘Lilkee’ is not mine to sell. I do have DVDs that haven’t been subtitled yet. (Yes, sorry Memsaab. A big sorry) So I could send it to you. Postage to the US is expensive though, because I need to courier it, the postal service doesn’t accept DVDs. So if you have someone in India whom I could send it to, who could then forward it to you??? Or someone who is visiting?

    Shakester, Good, good. Haven’t heard ‘Bombay the Hard Way’ though. Wonder if it is available here.

    Wordjunkie, and yes, what a skirt! Micro-mini.

    Scribblers Inc., :-)

    Pu, No, no, nothing wrong with you.

  26. karrvakarela
    February 6, 2009

    Batul: Thanks! I’ll let you know if someone’s visiting.

  27. suniti
    February 13, 2009

    WOW !!! I love these b/c grade films :) Loved the post :)

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This entry was posted on February 3, 2009 by in Dhanno, the movies and tagged , , , , , , .
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