banno, dhanno and teja in bumm-bumm-bhole-land

anjaana anjaani (2010) – hot or cool – an aurat is an aurat

Her name is Kiara. – Cool. Like a flower-bed, no?

No, stupid, that is kyaari, this is Gaelic, means little, dark one. – Cool.

And Kiara is Priyanka Chopra – Hot.

So she gets to wear little, little shorts and little, little tops and show off her long, dark legs. – Hawwwt.

She is different, you know, suicidal, very edgy. She even has lots of slash marks on her wrists. – Hmmm.

No, no, don’t worry. She’s still cute, you know, she has all these cute gestures, much like Jennifer Aniston, the pouts, and the giggles, and the flick of her hair. – Cool.

She is a modern girl you know, she drinks and all, and knows all the party joints in Vegas also. – Cool.

She also sleeps around. – Hmmm?

No, actually, she has a boyfriend. But whatever happens between them is very innocent because they knew each other since they were 3. So you know, played doctors and all that together. – Hmmm.

No, no, we don’t see anything of that though. This is a Hindi film. – Cool.

We only see their names carved on a seesaw, Kiara and Kunal. Kunal is Zaeed Khan, by the way. – Really. OK.

And then with other men, we think she has slept with them, but actually she hasn’t. – Good.

Because underneath all her fun-loving exterior, she still loves her childhood boyfriend. – Hot.

And she is loyal to him. – Good.

Even when he is not. – Kunal?

That makes her desperate enough to kill herself. – Hmm.

But she looks glamorous through all of it, so not to worry – OK.

Even when she’s drowning, her makeup doesn’t wash off. – Cool.

And she is so modern she sleeps in the same bed as Ranbir Kapoor, no problem. – Cool.

I mean, she eyes him and all, specially when he comes out of the bathroom, shirtless, showing off his 6 packs. – Hot.

And she also helps him to pick up a girl. Because he is a virgin. – Wow!

But he wants love. Before he dies. Which is to be soon. – Cool.

She also has a father. – Hmmm.

But he is also very modern. He lets her be. He comes once to ask her if Kunal has not shown up for her birthday. Then she disappears from his life, and goes around trying to kill herself. But he lets her be. – Cool.

And then he is happy when she turns up again. And asks no questions. – Cool. All fathers could learn a lesson from this guy.

Anyway, so she is very modern, so she works as a waitress. Because she’s been so busy with luub and all since she was 3, that I don’t think she went to school or college. Now she’s so busy with her luub and death plans, that she always turns up late, and gets fired. – Cool.

But she still has a car, and an apartment, and enough money for a holiday, because she is going to die anyway.

And remember, she has lots of sexy clothes. – Hot.

And anyway, she doesn’t really want to do anything except kill herself, or fall in love. – Cool.

And even the killing herself bits are all fun, really. You know, funny things happen. So not to worry.

And when she loses a man, she finds another. And that man is Ranbir Kapoor, who she has been eyeing you know, and sleeping with in the same bed.

So of course, they fall in love.

And dying gets postponed for a bit.

Because then she needs to get proposed to. And get a diamond ring. While drowning. You know, like a proposal which is all fancy and amazing. And they even have a hot, hot kiss in the cold, cold water. – ‘Oh My God!’.

And she gets married, and has babies.

And she still looks very hot years later, only her pants are longer. – Cool.

And of course, she gives up slashing her wrists. I think.

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20 comments on “anjaana anjaani (2010) – hot or cool – an aurat is an aurat

  1. Beth
    January 8, 2011

    Add in a few more mentions of Ranbir’s shirtlessness and you’ve got yourself a film! :D Per your Jennifer Aniston reference, I actually liked this one (not looooved) because it reminded me of some of the good things of Friends. But I absolutely won’t put up any kind of spirited defense of it. Other than the shirtlesness. You know.

    • Banno
      January 9, 2011

      Beth, I knew you liked the film. I had read your review, which is why I thought it was not entirely to be dismissed, and wanted to see it. In fact, I think I would have liked the film better without Priyanka. I just find her too annoyingly cute. All the time. Which is ANNOYING.

      But of course, the Ranbir Kapoor shirtlessness was serious stuff.

      • Beth
        January 9, 2011

        Wuhoh! Sorry I led you astray! Heehee! I too find Priyanka annoying almost all the time and am FILLED WITH TREPIDATION about 7 Khoon Maaf. And I agree with you and Bollyviewer that that particular scene with Ranbir should have gone on longer, brilliant flip of the 70s that it was!

  2. aneela z
    January 8, 2011

    Of course she gives up slashing her wrists, because by this time the audience has beat her to the knife and is busy slashing self,the idiot who suggested the movie, helppp we are two short of a slasher fest rocky horror show here.

    • Banno
      January 9, 2011

      Aneela, :) I wish it had been more slasher/rocky/horror, instead of just cutie-pie stuff.

      • the mad momma
        January 17, 2011

        between your post and Aneela’s comments i’m dying… whynt you two write a movie?

        • Banno
          January 17, 2011

          Mad Momma, we need a producer. :)

  3. bollyviewer
    January 8, 2011

    Hehehe So Piggy Chops is cool and hot? :D

    This describes the film so well. A romance about suicide!

    There is one scene that I did like a lot – when Ranbir has to do a stripper act to earn some money, but things go wrong. A beefy guy carries him off to have his evil way with him. Ranbir keeps bleating something along the lines of a 70s heroine (mujhe chhod de kamine! :D). And then Priyanka breaks into the room to save his izzat – so deliciously gender-reversed 70s masala!!!

    • Banno
      January 9, 2011

      Bollyviewer, Dhanno told me when this scene was coming up, “This is the one really funny scene in the film. Pity they’ve cut it so short.” I totally agreed, I would have loved to see Ranbir strutting around a bit more before his izzat was saved. :)

  4. Eveslungs
    January 9, 2011

    LOL Banno ! You’re responsible for my reluctance to watch any Bollywood film :p

    • Banno
      January 10, 2011

      Oh no, Eveslungs. I feel so guilty!

  5. dipali
    January 9, 2011

    Inanity at its worst :(
    Those two are cute :)
    But the movie was Duh :(

    • Banno
      January 10, 2011

      Dipali, inane is right. And I confess, I don’t like Priyanka’s cuteness.

  6. shweta
    January 10, 2011

    I cant bring myself to see it! me, who watched “ek raat shaitan ke saath” in bliss. Ranbir is watchable as is priyanka, but rom coms drive me crazy. i dont think ive ever seen a jen anistin mvie from start to fin. ah well- it takes all kinds to make this world :)

    • Banno
      January 10, 2011

      Yes, I think basically I don’t much like rom coms too. Which is why ….

  7. Violet
    January 10, 2011

    I loved the review. – Cool
    PC is terribly annoying and I cannot stand the movie. – Ok?

  8. Purnima Rao
    January 12, 2011

    Fabulous review! I wish I’d seen this before I made the mistake of seeing the film. Everything, including suicide and heartbreak is so cutesy that you want to stab someone in the foot.

    • Banno
      January 13, 2011

      Thanks, Purnima. Yes, a stab in the foot sounds like something you would really, really want to do, even daydream about, while watching the film, anything to get away from CUTE.

  9. IMeanSeriously
    March 13, 2012

    Banno!!!!! I bow to thee and thy divine funny bone :D You are my favourite, favourite movie critic in the whole wide world :D

    • Banno
      March 26, 2012

      I mean seriously. :)

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This entry was posted on January 8, 2011 by in the movies and tagged , , , , .
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