I was watching Abhishek Bachchan and Rani Mukherjee on a snow peaked mountain in ‘Bas Itna Sa Khwaab Hain‘, don’t ask me why, I wouldn’t know. No, wait, it was to do with the Friday release of ‘Drona‘ and I wanted to see the director’s earlier film, from an academic point of view. No, really, that’s me.

Anyway, suddenly, I got an a-ha moment. Teja and Dhanno will tell you I often get a-ha moments, where I basically realize after a considerable amount of time what most people know from their mothers’ wombs. A lot of my a-ha moments are to do with the working of taps, bottle caps, door latches, turnstiles, elevators, tetra-packs and other such mind-boggling things. But that’s another story.

Right now my a-ha moment came while Teja said: “Where are they dancing?”

I said: “The Swiss Alps.” Though I didn’t know for sure, it’s good practice to give answers confidently.

Since they had just reached the Swiss Alps via a Film City set just by virtue of singing a song, I said: “I’m sure if we sing a song right now, we could be in the Alps.”

Teja said: “Yes.”

I said: “We’d have to move our arms around in synch.”

Teja said: “We could do that.”

Dhanno said: “But both of you will reach there. I’ll be left behind. I want to come too.”

I said: “We’ll sing a family song.”

Much singing (completely off-key on my part, perfectly pitched on Teja’s and Dhanno’s part) ensued accompanied with much flailing around of arms and legs. But we stayed firmly ensconced in Bumm-Bumm-Bhole-Land.

I said: “We need costumes and make-up.”

Dhanno said: “We need a camera and lights.”

Teja muttered to himself: “Love means doing stupid things together. Love means never having to say sorry (to yourself) when you do stupid things together. Love means …”

Meanwhile Abhishek Bachchan and Rani Mukherjee had come back to the Alps after a brief sojourn to some grassy flowery meadow in Ootacamund.  They looked at each other, they looked at the camera, they did some posing of the romantic, dreamy kind, you know the arms outstretched, twisted necks variety.

I thought the way they are shot, and their dance steps are, they could well be performing in front of a blue screen in Mumbai. Most songs are choreographed this way nowadays. The backdrop could be Milan, Mauritius, Muscat, or a painted screen in Mehboob Studios, Bandra. How does it matter? The actors don’t relate at all to the place they are in, the dance movements have nothing to do with the space around them.

I missed suddenly with a deep pang, the cavorting, rollicking, rolling in snow, sliding down snow peaks, throwing snowballs  – Shammi Kapoor and Saira Banu in ‘Junglee‘, Raakhee and Amitabh in ‘Kabhi Kabhi‘, Shashi Kapoor and Sharmila Tagore in ‘Aa Gale Lag Jaa‘. I missed the sweaters and the pom pom caps and the woolen mittens and the faux fur collared jackets. Rani was wearing a chiffon saree, Abhishek was wearing something that I forgot even as I looked at it. Certainly not made for goofing around in the cold. Sigh.

Anyway, since the song and dance routine didn’t work for us, we’ll just drive down to Pune for the weekend.