The other day, I watched Dharmendra in a chamber with a slanting floor opening into a pit with acid bubbling inside. As he tried to avoid falling in, he looked up. A fancy glass chandelier over the pit had a Gandhi cap stuck on it – it belonged to someone he had known. The cap fell into the pit, and the bubbles swallowed it up immediately.

Meanwhile, gas began to spew out of vents near the floor. Then, a big dog rushed in and attacked Dharmendra in a bid to loosen his grip on the floor and make him fall into the pit. The dog then turned into a stuffed toy with which Dharmendra wrestled making huge, grunting sounds. Then Dharmendra threw the dog into the pit, and the acid bubbles sizzled again satisfyingly.

Dharmendra used the door left open by the dog to move out of the chamber and into a corridor where immediately big saws started rotating towards him threateningly from both sides. Then, some huge drills started coming at him from the floor. He avoided all those and escaped through the blades of a huge exhaust fan onto a shabby terrace full of sad looking potted plants and discarded furniture. Shetty, the dark bald evil man was waiting for him there, and he made menacing sounds. They had a fist-fight.

Meanwhile, Ajit and Prem Chopra went down a corridor. A door opened automatically and closed when they had passed by. They opened a large oven. The skeleton of a dog was delivered to them covered in ashes. They wondered what had happened. They peeped through a window of the chamber and saw Dharmendra had escaped.

Dharmendra defeated Shetty eventually and looked down from the terrace. A saddled horse was waiting patiently near a tree. He whistled and the horse came obediently nearer. Dharmendra jumped from the terrace, landed on the horse two stories below, and galloped off.

Ajit and Prem Chopra came running out. Their house was in a forest. They asked their goons to chase Dharmendra. Everyone set off on their horses.

I switched off the TV. Too much pleasure can be a bad thing.

I wish I knew which film this was in. Teja who was in the same room as the TV, says he does remember seeing Dharmendra but none of the above since the TV was on only for a few minutes. Dhanno refuses to believe that I actually saw all this. She thinks I made it up. It seems just the kind of thing I would make up.

A few days ago, I also saw Dharmendra and Hema Malini on a ferry. They were having an argument, in the course of which he lifted her up, put her over his shoulders, smacked her on the bottom and then threw her into the water. Dhanno doesn’t believe I saw this either.

I need some Youtube proof. And I need to stop surfing TV channels. And I need to watch entire films in one go, or at least until I figure out their names.