Most items from my to-do lists get deleted by virtue of letting time pass. Surely and slowly, there does come the time, when the task listed is no longer do-able or no longer necessary. As the days get hotter, lesser and lesser seems to be required from life.
Last year was full of little sadnesses. Life changed in small but irrevocable ways. Which I did not like.
Dhanno slogged for her Std XII ISC exams. Everything in the house seemed to be on hold, while she studied.
The cinema hall across our apartment complex gate shut down. The library we frequented went online.
I took on a job which made me realize how little I knew really, or rather, how much I had forgotten.
The noise levels around our flat went up, up, up.
I made excuses not to go to yoga class. We stopped going to the movies. I was tearful in advance about Dhanno’s going away to college after her Std. XII. Dhanno was tearful because she was so goddam tired. I did not like everyone growing older.
In the new year, I went back to yoga class. The cinema hall across our apartment complex gate re-opened. But we didn’t want to go watch the movies any more.
I found I enjoyed the online library more than I did the real one. I can get all the browsing I want to do at the corner second-hand book shop. Teja buys me James Hadley Chase when he is running errands in the market outside our house.
The noise levels around are flat are still going up. From school march pass to society meetings to off-key singers at festivals and off-key wedding bands, mikes and amplifiers are now mandatory to celebration in our parts of the world.
I finished writing a script for a children’s film. I did a few other jobs which made me feel better about myself. Dhanno decided to stay home for another year. Not as a break, but as a preparation for something more ambitious that she wants to attempt.
I feel less pressurized by the need to do something. I still have to make the final break from taking on jobs I no longer want to do. Maybe that will come this year. If I vow not to buy any more bags, I could do with less money.
Time passing is not so bad after all. And letting time pass over your head, not too bad either. You do tend to put on a few kilos in the process though.
Well, it does give me something to do this year. A new list with diet and exercise routines is made.