exhaling fear


So while I am still not able to swing up on my own, with one gentle hands-up, I can prop up against the wall.

Today, I could extend my heels without losing control. I didn’t breathe heavily, scared that my neck is going to snap, or roll my eyes around.

I’ve realized that if I keep my neck absolutely straight, and my eyes looking straight ahead, I feel quite light.

One would think, a glance here or there, could hardly matter, but there is a slight shift that occurs, which either leads to a swinging of the legs, or a crick in the neck.

I can come down on my own, one leg at a time, without a graceless thump.

The key in shirshasana is to keep the weight of your body on your elbows, and to not panic. It’s easier to do if you trust your guru.

It’s wonderful to see the world, or at least the little bit within your line of vision, upside down for some time. Even if it is only for a couple of minutes. For now.

And then, there are the age spots on my cheek-bones, which I’m hoping to zap into oblivion with regular shirshasana. I look at myself in the elevator mirror, early in the morning, and already, I can see them fading. Well. I am what they call ‘susceptible’.


  1. Oh god…so much respect! Not even teaching yoga for a while could induce me to do a shirshasana. Nope. Never. I like age spots & grey hair & being called aunty by 22 year olds.❀

    • Space Bar, ‘like’, like, really?πŸ™‚ I just don’t go hyper about it.
      And I’m still up against the wall, don’t know when I’ll ever be ‘swawalambi’.πŸ™‚

  2. Banno, my husband regularly stands on his head very effortlessly and is quite condescending about his ability to do so. I’m thinking of training my younger son to go push him over.

    • Kate, no, it isn’t. It looks scary, but under the right guidance, and after some amount of preparation, it’s simple.

  3. Wow, Banno. I am impressed.πŸ™‚

    Oh, and because your blog wouldn’t let me post this on your Harud post, here I go with a comment I tried posting there (you’re welcome to edit this and put it where it belongs!)

    I’ve heard about Harud, but somehow have never made the effort to try and find it. Perhaps I’m a little scared of reliving the last few months I spent in Srinagar. But now that I’ve been back and seen that it’s recovering… yes, now, maybe.

    • Dusted Off, I am all chuffed up now, with the compliments.πŸ™‚ Sorry about the comments section, wonder why it is acting up with you? About Srinagar, didn’t realize you spent a few months there, thought you’d been on a short visit.

      • I think WordPress detects my gravatar and decides to blacklist my comments! God knows why it’s happening. Khair, as Greta would say…

        I did go on a short trip to Srinagar this May, but I lived in Srinagar for three years – from 1982 to ’85. That was when things were beginning to get nasty (curfews, school buses being stoned, things like that). My father got transferred to Delhi after that, so we left – but I’ve always wanted to go back.

        • Dusted Off, I see. About Srinagar. I can understand why ‘Harud’ may be difficult for you to watch. But do. Some day.

  4. Wow.. this sounds like fun. I am going to try it out today, obviously against the wall, can’t do it on my own. I think the last time I tried it out was like 15 yrs back.. let us see how much of a difference age gets to makeπŸ™‚

  5. I am impressed I must say ! I could do it as a child with support of the sofa back. But don’t know when exactly I stopped doing that. Great read, as alwaysπŸ™‚

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