There are phases in life when nothing seems to fit. You are restless, bored, frustrated, anxious, oh hang it, let’s not beat around the bush, you are unhappy. And of course, there is no real reason for your unhappiness. You have so much, so much more than so many other people, so much more than starving children, or poor villagers, or illiterate women, or people at war, so much more that you need to stop being unhappy, pronto.
Everything you have ever been taught, everything that jumps out at you from around you, tells you, to put your chin up, and be grateful for what you have. Oh yes, that is the way to salvation.
As for me, whenever I am expected to be grateful, I find myself getting annoyed at just those things that I am meant to be grateful for.
Gratefulness is like isabgol. Yes, if your stomach is aching, you can take it, and you will feel better. But it tastes like nothing, it makes you gag if you don’t get it down in one gulp and you can’t make a cake with it, or chocolate, or even curry.
Keeping a gratefulness diary is much like keeping a diet diary, good for you, but you are kind of soft-selling transgressions all the time. It’s easier to make a note of the things that make me happy. Do we really think everyday, about the things that make us happy?
We do spend a lot of time on things that bug us, that irritate us, or things that we need to do to get on with the daily business of living, we make our ways through, but things that bring a smile, nothing much, just make you grin to yourself, make your eyes light up?
And no, I don’t mean the company of loved ones, and the blessings of having friends. I mean, the things, that make you happy, when you are alone, wherever you are, whoever you are with or not, irrespective of whatever else is happening in your life.
Your list of favourite things?
This is mine.
Red flowers growing on a plant.
Tea and sitting around, drinking it slowly.
Watching an old film. A really, really old film. A really old film in a theater.
Listening to the birds over and above all the noise of the city.
Folding clothes.
Reading a book, that takes me into its own world.
Nipping dead leaves or twigs from plants, with my fingers.
Walking around a city, just looking.
As for me, whenever I am expected to be grateful, I find myself getting annoyed at just those things that I am meant to be grateful for.
Oh, how true!! 🙂
My list, which corresponds to yours in some things…
1. A hot cup of tea… especially when I’ve just come in from the freezing cold
2. Losing myself in a book
3. Watching a film in a theatre
4. Walking around Bombay, Boston, NY — just looking
5. Having my son’s puppy hop on my lap and fall back, waiting for a belly rub
6. Having my son creep into my bed in the morning, even though I’ve chased him off in the night
7. Knowing my curry leaf plant hasn’t died this winter
8. The smell of fresh jasmine. And roses.
9. The monsoons in India
10. Listening to Mohammed Rafi, on a dark night, in a dark room…
p.s. You can fold my clothes too.. 🙂
Anu, that I can, with pleasure. 😄
I loved your list, Banno! And yours, Anu. (Though my list is more like your than Banno’s – knowing my curry patta plant has survived the winter is happiness for me too, and I don’t get any happiness out of folding clothes. Hate it). 😀
For me, let’s see:
1. Reading a book.
2. Watching an old film.
3. Baking something that tastes good but is healthy – and knowing that I can therefore have dessert after dinner without too many qualms!
4. Seeing and hearing a barbet in the trees outside our home.
5. Remembering the wild rose bushes of Ladakh – covered in pink flowers everywhere else (and the bushes the size of a house), yellow in Mulbekh.
6. Listening to old film music – especially Rafi.
7. Going, once again, to the Qutb Minar complex.
8. Eating a really good Oriental meal.
9. Reading a good review of one of my writings.
10. Drinking a big cup of mocha, strong on both coffee and chocolate. With churros on the side.
Did Ghalib say… 🙂
IHappiness is a cup of wine
gratefulness is isabgol
one makes you want to sip and smile
the other tastes like nothing at all.
You are very high B, those cars look like tiny shiny beetles.
Every post on my blog these days is about what makes me happy, but still…
Seeing my cactus bloom, even if nothing else will.
Looking out at the city. I love living on the 11th floor!
Playing music when I’m at home alone and only listening to my favorite songs.
And right now, anticipating my vacation that starts in a few days!
I know, Unmana, you are so happy in this city. I am glad. Have a good vacation.
I love your list!
Being by myself, home alone- rare since the spouse has retired.
Painting- after decades and loving it.
Walking in cold weather.
Swimming, preferably all alone in the pool.
Recognising a raga on the radio ( happened during Worldspace days).
Was recently very pleased to meet someone who’s been reading my blog since it’s early days 🙂
Watching and listening to birds.
Being in a comfortable open space with a book, and reading till it gets too dark to read. (No house or other work to contend with).
Your paintings are lovely, Dipali. And they give as much pleasure to all of us as they do to you.
Thank you!